New Light
by Hared
Summary: Edward is lost after Bella decides that Jacob is better for her. He needs someone, yet he wont let anyone in, except the one person he stills loves, Jasper
1. Chapter 1

The time that had passed lasted for an eternity, floating in an empty void of my own thoughts. My thoughts were usually the place I went for solitude, a place to escape from the world around me. But that was no longer an issue. Every time that I open my eyes I see her face, her chocolate brown eyes, and the scent that floats gently from her hair. But that was over now; Bella was gone, gone to Jacob and to never return. It's her destiny, if things like me or my family didn't exist than Bella would have ended up with Jacob; it was how it was supposed to go in the natural world.

The Natural world is where I should have died in 1917 of the Spanish Flu, never to meet such a beautiful girl, and ruin her life, complicating it. I am unnatural, a meeting of fairy tales, and the weight of it all is so great I wonder why, why we live like we do in fear of what we are, hiding our identities.

My mind is a tangled mess, too much to handle. A knock at the door interrupts my calm; I reach the field surrounding my mind and lightly touch the one right outside the door. The mind is familiar, belonging to my adoptive mother Esme. She edges the door and whispers, "Ed, I know you hear me, can I come in, we need to talk" I wave her in and she pushes the door open, leaving it ajar. I wish she had not done that.

She gracefully glides over and sits next to me the best she can on my sofa, cluttered with books. She looks in my eyes, I can hear that she is trying to hide something from me, but not well. We sit for a few moments, not wanting to be the one to bring up the subject that Esme is practically screaming in his face. "Ed, what are we really waiting on, you know, I know why you are like this." She takes my hand in some sort of comforting gesture, only making her thoughts slightly louder. "and we know how this problem should be solved"

I knew what she meant; it was time to move from forks. It is a good time. We have been here too long. This place just brings to many memories, of the past. But I had no intention of starting all over I just can't do that again. "I know, but I may need to leave you" I need to travel, I need to see things, I need to be alone, that is most important. I tell Her and the look in her eyes pains me, but I have grown to not take it as seriously. To completely ignore it instead.

She Smiles; I can see and hear the disappointment in her eyes, and mind. We have moved many times before, but this seems more difficult. I can't place my finger on it. It's weird I fell empty. Esme understands and lets herself out. She leave the door open and I can hear whispering downstairs, and creaks as Esme makes her way down the stairs, slow for some reason. I stand up and turn on my radio, blasting it so the only thing I can hear is the music entering one ear and exiting the other. I close my eyes and try to sleep, try to escape my thoughts, escape her face, and that smell that is burning my nostrils.

Jasper

I have been trying to see Edward for over two weeks now. Sure I know where he is, I have seen him. I have seen him physically, I know where he is now, but I want to talk to him. I want to talk to him one, on one. But every time I try he is gone, out hunting or who knows what else. I need to speak to him, I need to get this off my chest, I need to tell him myself.

I sit on our couch in the living room, tow things that we don't need, just a show to make us see just that much more normal. The TV blares and I do my best to ignore the bright ad scrolling across the screen. I breath out in attempt to calm myself, even I, the one who can change the emotions of those around him cannot calm himself down. The stress, the overwhelming truth that I need to scream is weighing down on my mind. Ed probably hears me, I know he can, my feelings are not something I can contain all the time. I struggle at all times to push and crush them down every moment of every day. Yet I let things by, and Ed barley looks in my direction.

I sense Alice sit next to me on the sofa. She grasps my hand and slowly caresses my thumb probably to grab my attention. I grunt to acknowledge that I know she is here. I sneak a glance at her, through the corner in my eye; she stares blankly at my cheek. It unnerves me to see her stare at me. I try and think of something besides us. She reaches and gently touches my cheek, I prevent myself from cringing at the strange roughness of her skin. Lately all I feel is a rough, cold skin when she touches me. I see cold dead eyes, instead of the warm welcoming eyes I saw before.

She whispers to me, "Jazz, what is wrong, you make me feel so anxious" I had barely noticed I was extending that to her and I withdrew the feeling back in. She focuses on a point on the opposite wall, she is having a vision. I can tell every time. But it has been while since I have seen it. My heart should be pounding, I should be sweating l, but that doesn't happen anymore, none of it does, we aren't normal, average humans. My mind is racing, wondering what she is seeing.


	2. Chapter 2

Where do I go next? Where do I run to? I have nowhere, I have no one, and I have no reason to live any more. So I have decided that the course of my existence is over. The reason for living is gone, and I feel it all the time, it's like a crushing weight on my chest that I cannot left, even with all my strength. I am leaving, and I don't plan on returning to this place, to return to this façade that is simply not worth it anymore.

I am leaving now, without goodbye. Because saying it will only make things worse, it will only make it that much more difficult to go. I open the window and climb through as quietly as possible. I reach the edge of the forest and turn back for a last look at the house I have resided in for over 3 years now, it is just a house now, and nothing more, it no longer holds anything I am looking for. The kitchen light is on and I picture Esme and Carlisle sitting at a table and laughing, love, something I can no longer understand. Alice runs through my mind, I regret leaving her, she counts in me, but she will understand.

These thoughts are too much and I need to leave them behind, no regrets.

Jasper

Alice comes out of her vision, and jumps off the sofa. I look up at her, confused, and she returns the look with a hint of hatred behind her eyes. She storms off into the lit kitchen, the only light on the house. I watch her go I consider following her. I wonder what her vision is of, but all I want to do is check on Edward. So instead of following Alice I make my way up the stairs. The hallway is dark, but I know where I am heading, I have made this path many times, all I need to do is follow his scent, to where it is the strongest.

His bedroom light is on and the scent is enough to drive me crazy. I walk in and the window is open, but he is nor here. I feel like my heart is crushed, he avoids me and I know he does. He leaves when he knows I am coming, but it is becoming to much now, I need to talk to him, he needs to tell me the truth, and I need to tell him I truly feel about him. I need to let him know that I am in love with him, but he probably knows that. He avoids the situation that is right in his face.

I sigh and look around at the room, his scent is starting to fade, it has been a few hours since he's been here. But why, where could he have gone, than it hits me, and I need to see Alice. It's staring me in the face and I didn't see it. I grab something and quickly make my dissent down the stairs. I wonder why Alice had not told me, why she kept this hidden.

I stalked angrily to kitchen, walking cautiously, hoping to catch a snip of what was going inside there. Just before I reached the door Carlisle rushed past me and out the door. Esme followed, they search was hopeless, and they knew it. Alice came next, I need to confront her, "Alice,"

She interrupted me and said, "Jazz, its Ed" i know already, I looked down at the single piece of paper in my hand and looked at Alice. I followed outside and Carlisle and Esme were starting up at the moon. The silence of the outside chilled me to core, I realized what was going on, it was over. The world crashed around me, and the meaning of the two little words written in elegant script on the piece of paper in my hand became clear.

A full moon overhead shone on us as Rose and Emmett returned. They came from the forest laughing and going on, but stopped when they saw us all stand around in a circle staring at the moon. Rose walked up to us, fearless Rose, more like arrogant Rose, never afraid of saying anything. But this time I think she got the seriousness of the situation. She stood next to Esme and asked, "what happened"

We stared at her, I think not a single one of us had wanted to say the truth, to say what we wanted to be a lie, but it was the truth. Carlisle looked away and said what we had known without words, these words were not necessary. "Edward is going to the Volturi, he is going to…" no more words were needed we all understood. Alice came over to me and took my hand, but I shrugged it off and turned away disappearing into the thick foliage beyond our home, I need to find him, I need to tell the truth, I need to save my only love, the one I care about, Edward. The Paper floated away from my hand, and the image of the words flashed in my mind- Good bye.


	3. Chapter 3

I am waiting, I am waiting for death. I run, and run, I don't stop, even for the burning that sears my throat with every unnecessary breath that I take. I know what is ahead of me, no regrets.

Jasper

The leaves of the trees that surround the house hit me and fall from their positions, landing on the ground as I burst through and into the forest. I can smell the slight hint that is Edward, and I follow it. I foolishly hope that Ed will be waiting for me, waiting to carry me away in his arms, to a life together. But I know where he has gone, it is the future, for now, and I know it hasn't changed.

But I reach a small clearing, full of flowers. It is the biggest void for miles, a wall of trees making up all the sides forming a circle. The opening creates a perfect place for the sunlight to stream in. I step into the middle and stand there. Looking around, I have lost the trail to Ed. Someone approaches and I ignore it, Alice is coming, probably to see where I have gone, what I am doing. I don't want to look at her face; I fear what it will revile.

I hear her move through the brush and step into the clearing. Her mind is in shock at the beauty, but the feeling is short and she sees me. And a confusion that develops me radiating from her and I cannot overcome its power. She steps closer and her scent grows stronger.

She reaches out for me, but I avoid her hand, bounding to the opposite side of the circle. I look around and she looks back at me, and I feel like crap, I want everything to be normal. But I can't live a lie, it's hard. She stares at me and I can't look into her eye. Her eyes hold nothing for me anymore, I no longer see the bright and full of life beams of light as before, but I see cold dead eyes stare back at me, black stones clear as ice. She opens her mouth and closes it, choosing her words carefully, "why" she asks, one simple word, one simple word that sucks all of the breath out of my lungs.

I don't know what to say. I don't know how to respond to a question that decides so much, that can ruin so much, that must and will be told. But she has seen it; she knows that I no longer love her like I used to, we have grown apart and we both have been feeling it since Bella left. She stands, frozen, waiting for an answer but looking at her only makes it that much more difficult. So instead I close my eyes. I close them and open my mouth. My words chosen fast, and don't sound how I want them to, but they are out there, they cannot be redone. But these words were the ones she was waiting for, she seen them coming. And her emotions leave her, she is not there, I cannot sense her.

I don't want to open my eyes; I want to keep them closed. I want to stand here and wait for her to leave, but the image of her standing there is burning in my eyes and I have to open them. My eyes open out of fear and she is still standing there, staring at the ground. She doesn't notice me slip away, and I am gone, I leave her standing there, staring at the ground. She doesn't follow, she doesn't move, No Regrets

Alice

Why... I know why, I know he is gone; I see him leave the clearing in my visions and as it happens. I have no energy I am an empty shell, and I fall to my knees, not moving my eyes for the one point on the ground, I calm my mind and plunge myself into the same vision from earlier, And for the first time since I can remember I want to cry.


	4. Chapter 4

Time is the only thing that seems to change for me. The only thing new is when the day rolls over and the sun raises again although I barley notice it, I don't know the date, or what day of the week it is exactly. My life is consists of running, running somewhere that I am not sure of. Anger fills my body and for the first time in over 8 hours I stop and stand in the middle of no where. My thoughts begin to override I can hear people and the very basic minds of a few animals around me. My throat burns to go to the smells but my mind tell me not to and the fight with myself is starting to drive me crazy.

I am getting angry thinking of the love that I had, thinking of what I want but cant have. The anger causes me to punch a near tree, I stand in silence as I watch it fall slowly to the ground. A familiar voice fills my head and my nostrils burn as a huge black shadow enters in front of me. A flash of light later and Jacob Black is standing in front of me looking as if he has never seen anything so disgusting in his life. I agree with him.

Jasper

I have hope. Hope is keeping me moving everyday his scent grows stronger, I know I am drawing closer. I should reach him in just a few short days. I push ahead trying not to think back to Alice or the rest og them that knight standing there staring at the moon. I sigh and stop the moon is bright tonight, no clouds in sight. And I head off as a chill runs down my spine.

Jacob

I cant help but circle around Edward. He stands there staring at the same place his arms folded behind his back, so much bravery. He hasn't spoken yet, so I start " what are you doing on our land bloodsucker" he has encroached on Quileute land and now he must pay for his mistake.

" shut up DOG" he whispers pushing his luck further, " you clearly don't understand what your talking about, just passing through," he chuckles to himself its different, more dark, his eyes scare me when I see them, black as coal, " leave me alone you have clearly accomplished what I cannot so you might as well finish me off, take what's left" I raise my eyebrow in confusion, but he interrupts me saying, " I knew you wouldn't understand"

"stop doing that" I say quickly before he can read my thoughts and answer before I can say anything. " its not my fault that she didn't chose you, that she doesn't love you" I know this hits deep because he has nothing to say back. " just leave bloodsucker no one wants you here".

His fists ball up and you can see his veins as his hands get lighter, I can feel the anger coming off his body as we stand there. He glares at me and a new scent enters the area, even out of transformation I can smell it and I can see Cullen can too.

I look towards the opposite direction and a Cullen runs up, the blonde one, all goes silent and Edward gives him a dirty look.


	5. Chapter 5

_I know that it has been a while since i have updated this Fic, but i was going through some stuff and i want to try and finish the ones i have up here so that i can out them to rest. Thanks to anyone who is reading and always R+R :) (: -Hared_

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**Jasper**

I know that he is angry at me, I can tell by the look in his eye. I can fell it radiating off every part of his being, it is so strong that I find it difficult to manipulate. "Your acting ridiculous Ed" I think to myself, hoping that Edward is listening.

"Don't," Edward whispers through his clenched teeth, "Don't do this me Jazz,"

Jacob stops, looking confused as to what Ed is talking about. "Don't worry, mutt, Me and Ed were leaving," I say rather harshly.

"Ill let you go," Jacob says, "But only because Bella would be very mad at me if you turn up dead , and I am to blame," he rolls his eyes, before turning into his wolf self and running through the trees.

I turn to Ed, but he just looks away.

Ed shakes his head, "No , I cant go back there Jazz, you have no idea, I can't face all of them," reading my mind

"They all want you to come back," He says, "Even Rose, she was so broken up about the whole thing,"

"And Alice?" Edward whispers, "What about her?, she loves you Jazz, your being selfish,"

Slightly mad and overheated I walk over to him, "I'm selfish?" half yelling, "That's a good one from the guy who was going to kill himself over some girl when I have been waiting for weeks to talk to you , waiting down stairs WEEKS, Weeks with out a single word, not one,"

"you have no idea Jasper," Edward says, "Bella is my everything,"

"Whatever Ed," I say, "I don't care what you do anymore, but you know damn well that whore doesn't mean anything to you, and that you didn't mean anything to her,"

The truth hurts. It hurts to say. It hurts to hear. And it is especially hurts when it involves ones true love.


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks so much for the views and reviews :) _

_Here is another part:) enjoy!_

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**Jasper**

I am only half expecting Ed to follow me. I would like to think that he would follow me and everything that has ever gone wrong since that day she left. The day he closed himself in his room and didn't speak single word to me.

But I know Ed to well to know that he wouldn't be following my scent through the forest. I push forward anyhow, on my way home.

**Bella**

I hear Jake return and almost run to the front room, and skid to a stop. He looks angry, pacing the living room and not noticing me standing there. "Why ?" he whispers to himself. I step into the living room and cough slightly, grabbing his attention, "Hey baby," he says, swooping me up in his arms and kissing me.

But I resist, pulling away and looking into his large, complex eyes, "What's wrong,"

"Nothing, its nothing," he insists, but I can see that he is lying.

"Don't lie, you saw him today, didn't you," I demand.

He sighs, putting me on the ground, "I shouldn't tell you," He says, "But he looks like shit," He admits, "it looks like he hasn't feasted on a bear in a while,"

"What?" I cant help but feel bad, as if it my fault.

"I heard the skinny blonde sa…"

"Jasper," I correct him almost instinctively without thought.

"Yeah…. Jasper said that he was going to kill himself," I don't know what to say so I just stare back into the big brow eyes of my boyfriend, forcing myself not to cry. Its my fault.

"Its not your fault," He whispers, trying to kiss me, but I wont let him. Feel conflicted.

"Not now," I whisper, my chin in nearly in my chest, " I ha…have to make phone call," He rolls his eyes, giving me his _"are you serious?"_ face, but leaves any way.

I almost run to the phone, and dial the number that I once had stuck in my brain. But now had to think about it for a second as I unsteadily dial the buttons. The ringing ends, and all is silent on the other side.

**Edward**

I sit. I don't know what else to do. So I sit on the ground, not moving an inch from where Jasper told me all the horrible things I could hear in his mind for months. But I cant think about that now. I don't want to. All want to do now is just think and rid my mind of this wretched love.

And my phone rings, I answer it and know who it is before the small voice of Isabella Swan can whisper , "Edward?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Alice**

Ever since Jasper left I have been sitting in the same place, in the middle of our bedroom, my eyes closed and my legs crossed. The future changes all the time. The best way to predict the future is to just wait for it to happen. People are uncertain, especially mortals. They can change there minds in a split second.

Some things are just to unpredictable to tell. Animals for instance run on pure instinct and don't decide on anything in advance. Much in the way that a werewolf's temper can get out of hand and they can do things they don't mean. I can see a werewolf, and for a an hour I couldn't see Jasper or Ed.

But now could see Jasper, he is running. He is alone. And I cant se Ed, he has not decided what he is going to do.

Jaspers is to arrive in a days time, to appear in the clearing he left me in a few days ago. Though he has not thought about what he is going to say, because I cannot see that part.

"Alice?" Esme's says behind me.

I turn around to face her. For the last hour she has contemplated coming to talk to me. "Esme?"

"Do you have news?" she asks, anxiety running through her face.

"I don't know." I says, closing my eyes, "Jasper will be returning, but I know nothing of Edward," I tell her all I know.

She doesn't speak and I hear her leave, walking down the stairs one by one until she is to far away for me to hear. I reach into the future, hoping for something else, but find nothing.

**Jasper**

The one thing that I know at this point is that I am going home. I don't know what I plan on saying when I get there, but I am thinking about it. How do I say that I am not what I once was. That I have changed. But I haven't really, I am still the same being.

I don't know how I'm going to look into Alice's eyes and tell her that I don't love her after all.

I keep running. I don't know where Edward is. I don't care where Edward is. He had done enough.

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_Thanks to everyone:D R+R_


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